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Armageddon 1998 |
Review by Jonathan Cornwell |
Directed by Michael Bay
PG-13, 144 min. (mature themes, profanity, violence, sexuality) |
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Starring: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck, Will Patton, Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson, Peter Stormare, Keith David, Michael Duncan, William Fichtner
Producers: Jerry Bruckheimer, Gale Anne Hurd, Michael Bay
Screenplay: Jonathan Hensleigh, J.J. Abrams
Cinematography: John Schwartzman
Distributor: Touchstone Pictures
Released: 7.01.98 (Wide) |
Rating:
  (out of ) |
Armageddon is maybe the perfect example of a movie that tries to fool an audience into believing that they are seeing a good movie -
dazzle them with special effects and fast-paced action sequences, while trying to hide the fact that there is not much substance
behind all that glitz. Unfortunately, more often than not, it works, as evidenced by the fact that Armageddon was the box-office
smash hit of the year. These are the type of movies that are now becoming the rule rather than the exception from the
ever-increasingly lobotomized Hollywood producers. I would venture to say that without the big names and its gluttonous budget,
this movie would have found its way into the drainhole of big, boring, and moronic motion pictures.
The story, which is pretty much ludricrous (no surprise), entails a bunch of oil drillers that must save Earth from impending
disaster at the hands of a giant asteroid. Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) leads this bunch of misfits into space because "only
my team can do it right". What? I can guarantee you that NASA would never sign off on such a far-fectched plan. NASA
chief Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) is entrusted with coming up with a solution to save the planet. He is basically bullied
into letting Harry and his team land on the asteroid and attempt to destroy it before it reaches Earth. Harry's team consists of
A.J. (Ben Affleck), who is in love with his daughter Grace (Liv Tyler), Chick (Will Patton), Rockhound (Steve Buscemi), Bear
(Michael Duncan), and Max (Ken Hudson Campbell). Most of them are the typical opposites and misfits, with only Rockhound
as an even somewhat entertaining character - the rest are forgettable. The film basically consists of the team being trained (boring),
blasting into space and landing on the asteroid, and drilling a hole deep enough to set off an explosive charge large enough to
destroy it.
There are so many obvious cliches and predictable moments in this film, that I'm not going to bore you with their inadequacies.
Instead, I'd rather focus on a few other points. First, the acting in this picture is poor, and that's somewhat surprising considering
the cast. But I expect more from talented actors such as Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis, who both give lifeless performances.
Ben Affleck is particularly bad - he's not likeable at all - while Liv Tyler is just eye candy. Second, why on earth does this movie
run more than two hours long? The entire story could have been told in less than two hours, and I could have gone home to
do something else more constructive than sitting through this insulting picture.
Director Michael Bay, who brought us the likable The Rock, attempted to present every possible hardship imaginable throughout
the movie - why the overkill? It's not necessary to have a good picture, although I admit he probably needed it for this one.
Armageddon is the quintessential Hollywood summer blockbuster, with its glitz and glamour (especially in the previews) showcasing
their mastery of manipulating audiences into thinking they have just seen "the event" of the year at the movies. And that's a
shame, because there are so many other worthwhile pictures out there with inspiring, meaningful, and enjoyable stories that
most people don't take the time to see (or never hear about).
© 2001 Jonathan Cornwell
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 |
 | Masterpiece - Film perfection |
| Excellent - A Must See |
| Good - Highly Recommended |
| Fair - Worth seeing |
| Average - Viewable, but not recommended |
| Below average - View at own risk |
| Poor - Avoid at all costs |
| Very poor - An embarassment to the film industry |
| Zero | Awful - One of the worst films ever made |
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